Have you considering just...asking?

What's your favorite TV show?

Mine is Seinfeld. Seinfeld is one of the greatest TV shows ever made.

I still watch re-runs of the show and laugh no matter how many times I've seen an episode.

My favorite character is Elaine, played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

She's witty, sassy, and she says whatever she's thinking.

One of my favorite episodes aired on Sept. 26, 1996. In this particular episode, George plants a recording device in a briefcase to see if people are talking about him behind his back when he steps out of a meeting.

When George retrieves the briefcase, it's damaged, and the recording device picks up... well... I'll let Elaine describe it:

ELAINE: Well, I hear three distinct sounds. A low rumple...followed by a metallic 'squink'...

GEORGE: Yes! Yes, I heard the 'squink!'

ELAINE: ...followed by a mysterious...'glonk.'

GEORGE: It's baffling, isn't it?

The next line is hilarious and delivered as only the Elaine character can...

ELAINE: Well, one question does come to mind. Have you considered just...asking them what happened to the briefcase?

Enough with the vagueries

You want to know the best way to get want you want?

Have you considered just...asking?

In Episode 28 of The Follow-Up Question, my guest, Jen Poyant, ended our conversation with this advice aimed at people wondering how to reach their goals faster:

"I think sometimes people want vague advice, but asking for really directed advice on where to move next and how to do that can really change your life if you're open to it."

Have you ever asked a question not really wanting the true answer?

I regularly ask my children, "How am I doing as your dad?"

It's always super awesome to hear my daughter, for example, say, "You're the greatest daddy and I love you!"

But I know I'm not perfect, so against my ego's wishes, I probe more...

"Honey, I love you too! But can you think of something I could do better, or something I do that you don't like?"

And the responses are hard to hear, but they make me a better father.

I could not be so quick to yell when I get frustrated. I could be on my phone less. I could stop making that one dinner all the time because its not very good.

Ouch!

Like Jen said, we so often ask questions hoping for the vague answer. It's safe and it requires little commitment from us.

How am I doing in my role at work?

How is your day going, friend?

Is there anything I can do to help?

I share these thoughts with you this week not to beat you up, but to help you get past any fear you might have of asking questions that have answers that might be uncomfortable for you.

But press into them, and you'll ultimately find things are far better when you stop being vague.

Just. Ask.