Is offense holding you back from asking more questions?

What is the thing holding you back from asking more questions?

I've been wondering about this a lot lately, especially as I've gotten feedback that actually asking questions is really hard.

In my search for answers, I keep coming up against this phrase, "the offended self."

We often wear our offense like a virtuous cape as we point out all the ways our sensibilities have been violated.

And as we dig deeper, we find that more often than not, our offense is rooted in envy.

A quote I came across from Dorothy Sayers describes the rottenness that is envy:

"Hand in hand with covetousness goes its close companion — invidia or envy — which hates to see other men happy. The names by which it offers itself to the world’s applause are right and justice, and it makes a great parade of these austere virtues. It begins by asking, plausibly, 'Why should I not enjoy what others enjoy?' and it ends by demanding, 'Why should others enjoy what I may not?'

"Envy is the great leveler, If it cannot level things up, it will level them down; and the words constantly in its mouth are 'my rights' and 'my wrongs.' At its best, envy is a climber and a snob; at its worst, it is a destroyer; rather than have anybody happier than itself, it will see us all miserable together.”

It is far easier to live in a state of "the offended self," where we project our own misery onto others in an attempt to drag them down to our loathsome level, often seething with envy.

When we are envious, when we are offended, we don't ask questions, because we believe beyond all reasonable arguments that we are right.

And to give up our offense would feel like we would give up a part of who we are.

So my question to you is simply this: Is your offense your most prized possession, and what would you have to give up to let go of it?