Two communication mistakes most new leaders make
On a recent coaching call, a client told me about a meeting late last year in which he was leading a discussion with his senior leadership team on his 2026 goals.
My client, a mid-level director, told me that as the meeting went along, he sensed management didn’t view his priorities as being as important as he believed they were.
And so, his internal narrative whispered to him...
“Why don’t they understand? Maybe I should push more, harder. I need to repeat myself, because this is simple...why don’t they understand?”
Fast forward to another, more recent call with this same client.
As he again expressed feelings of frustration and anger (his words) at decisions made that go against his recommendations, I asked him to pause and consider a different perspective.
I told him, “A major piece of our communicative presence is understanding what we can control and what we cannot.
“When you’re walking into situations where you don't have the authority to make the final decision, releasing yourself of the outcome can help you show up more communicatively confident when you know all you're there to do is influence.”
Communication mistakes new leaders make
Two of the top communication mistakes I see new leaders make — whether they are brand new to leadership or they’re stepping into a new company in a new role — are:
Trying to control what they cannot control
Speaking too much
I’ve seen many new leaders try to use more words as a way to try to guarantee an outcome they desire or to try to prove themselves.
There is often an underlying belief that positional authority comes with decision-making autonomy, and while this can be true, leadership at any level still requires getting others to support your ideas through methods other than sheer force.
What’s more, just because you have a title doesn't mean people trust you.
These unknowns often translate into believing that in every circumstance, with every issue, with every challenge, and in every meeting, a leader must speak enough to prove to everyone else that their way is the best way.
This leads to rambling and constantly repeating the same points over and over again.
This is what was happening with my client.
He had created a story in his head that if he just shared more of what he knew, if he just talked a little bit longer, if he just repeated himself one more time to make sure everyone heard him, he’d be more convincing, and he'd show everyone that he knew what he was talking about.
When I told my client to release himself of the outcome in meetings, he went silent for a moment.
Then, he softly said, “I had not thought of it that way.”
A leader opens up space for dialogue
Effective leadership communication often goes against what typically comes to mind when you imagine what great communication looks and sounds like.
The cliché is that great communicators are loud, fiery, long-winded wordsmiths who can orate as if they are behind a pulpit rather than seated at a conference room table.
But the far more common reality is that the best leaders use their words as a way to get others to engage in dialogue.
They absolutely have ideas and a point of view to share, but they know that unvoiced emotions often underlie pushback, so they invite these feelings into the open by asking questions that uncover important details.
They are observers — readers of emotion and what is not being said — and they offer up space for dialogue to come forward no matter the setting.
I told my client that when he senses pushback against his ideas and recommendations, he should set aside his need to be right, and instead, ask those who disagree with him to share more.
Call it out into the open.
When you are the one to invite dialogue into the room, even when you know disagreement could be the outcome, you build influence.
And through influence, you shine a light on your leadership capabilities, which often lead to more outcomes going your way, and more people seeing you as their guide.
Connect with me to schedule a free 30-minute mini communication coaching session to walk through your specific hang-ups and challenges. I’d love to help you.
As always... keep asking questions!
