Don't fall prey to conflict entrepreneurs
Have you ever heard of the term “conflict entrepreneur?”
Until my conversation with Martin Carcasson, I hadn’t heard it.
Martin explained what a conflict entrepreneur is in an episode of my podcast, and the idea is simple: A conflict entrepreneur is someone who makes money and/or generates a large following by intentionally pitting people against each other.
Politically. Socially. Racially. Ideologically. Religiously. Geographically. Any other -ally out there.
Conflict entrepreneurship is too easy
Unfortunately, conflict entrepreneurship is big business, and it’s scary. The path to becoming a conflict entrepreneurial unicorn is wide and short.
It’s scary because it’s easy to rile up peoples’ sensitivities and emotions. Studies show that people are nearly twice as likely to share negative news on social media versus positive news.
Perhaps most unsettling, it takes zero experience, financial backing, wisdom, or talent to become a successful conflict entrepreneur.
We see example after example in popular media of people who make their living off of reducing complicated issues into black-and-white binaries, removing nuance from conversation in favor of parroted talking points, and stereotyping the many based off the actions of the few.
This is why it is so important to get better at asking questions — of yourself and of others.
How to stop a conflict entrepreneur in their tracks
To a conflict entrepreneur, your anger and your discontent are their supply. Your desire to withdraw into a tribe and demonize anyone outside of it is the capital a conflict entrepreneur needs to continue to build their empire.
Curious questions stop them in their tracks.
When it comes to highly emotional issues and disagreements, before you respond or hit send on that social media post and make a deposit in a conflict entrepreneur’s bank account:
Ask yourself what it is you truly believe rather than what you’ve been told to believe.
Consider real, tangible possibilities that might lead others to believe differently than you do.
Keep a network wide enough where you can go to others who think unlike you do to ask them questions and get their perspectives.
This process of asking yourself questions, asking questions about others, and asking questions of others is at the heart of the ASK then SEE approach to conflict communication, which I detail in my book, Can I Ask A Question.
Questions expose conflict entrepreneurs for who they really are: Those who speak with certainty despite never having to show the work of how they came to their attitudes of assuredness.
They trade human emotion for gain rather than invite in conversation.
The experts I trust and value most show their work and tread lightly when it comes to making definitive statements. And most of all, they value questions and invite others to join them on their journey.
Interested in improving your communication skills and presence? Learn more about what it’s like to work with me as your communication coach.
