What happens when no common ground exists?

This idea I’m pursuing — to help us find common ground — it’s so peaceful and comforting.

It makes me feel good just saying it, because I know its out there just waiting to be revealed.

It’s true. I really do believe that we are all more similar than we are different, and that thought gives me the warm fuzzies inside. It’s an idea worth pursuing.

But I’m also not naive. At least, not when it comes to this topic.

I know that there are many instances where common ground simply doesn’t appear to exist between people who believe differently.

What then?

What do we do when we disagree, and no amount of soul-searching or asking questions ever brings us closer to a solution we can agree on?

Perhaps I’m simplifying it down too much here, but here it goes...

Be a good person.

Cliché? Perhaps.

Unoriginal? Yeah, maybe.

A worthy aspiration? One-hundred percent YES!

I’m absolutely serious here — we should be able to communicate well with, coexist with, and even love other people well ... even when we share no common ground.

No red-faced screaming (or typing). No name-calling. No straw-man arguments.

In episode 65 of The Follow-Up Question, I interviewed Andy Norman. Andy is an author, researcher, and philosopher who believes we can inoculate our minds against bad ideas.

And Andy is an atheist.

And I?

I am a Christian.

Andy’s views on faith, religion, and God are in many ways in direct opposition to my own. And neither one of us is likely to ever change the other’s mind.

The chances are practically non-existent.

But if you listen to our conversation, you’ll hear two people with pointedly different views discuss an important topic with grace, fairness, and dare I say, respect.

Where no common ground existed, Andy and I still treated each other well. And rather than feel like we had an argument to win, we simply talked to better understand each other.

Even when faced with challenges to our ideas, opinions, and beliefs — in those times when we believe that no common ground exists — you and I should be able to continue to be good people.

But hold on.

Was there no common ground to be had between Andy and me? Are there really situations in this world where common ground simply does not exist?

Perhaps there are. I can imagine situations of heinous crimes that would certainly put pressure on this idea.

But the more likely situation we are up against is that if we continue to engage, if we continue to press into discomfort, if we continue to seek understanding, then yes, common ground will eventually reveal itself.

At the end of our conversation, there was a moment where Andy made a statement that, wouldn’t you know it, gave me those same warm fuzzies.

“I’d love to help develop a worldview that celebrates ‘us’ without demonizing any ‘them.’ And Jesus’ advice to love your enemies and to love your neighbor as you would yourself, these are very similar ideas and ideas that I admire deeply, and I like to credit Jesus and Christianity for spreading those ideas.”

I don’t know. Kinda sounds like common ground between an atheist and a Christian, doesn’t it?