Power in the silence
“I want the truth!”
“You can’t handle the truth!!!”
Hopefully, you just pictured the courtroom scene from the movie “A Few Good Men.”
You saw red-faced Tom Cruise’s whole body shake as he demanded answers, and you had a vision of Jack Nicholson’s sneering scowl as he retorted one of the most repeated lines in movie history.
It’s the Hollywood climax scene to end all Hollywood climax scenes, and it leads to us as the viewer getting exactly what we want.
We want Nicholson’s character, Col. Nathan R. Jessep, to go down. We want him to pay. We want him exposed.
We know he ordered the Code Red, and justice must be served.
So very Hollywood.
And so very unrealistic.
You see, you and I both know that’s not how this works.
We too often see examples in movies, popular media, and especially in politics and in discussing charged issues, that shouting and waving our arms in the air and being ever-more demonstrative means that our stance must be right if we are so passionate about it.
In reality, it is just the opposite.
The volume of your voice is not an indicator of how right you are.
Case in point: What does a child do when they don’t get their way, even when want they want is unacceptable?
They yell, scream, cry, sometimes flailing about or throwing themselves onto the floor.
These are the actions and the voice of immaturity, and yet, as adults, we’ve come to believe this is how our disagreements are to be held, and how our debates are to shape and form.
I mean, come on, did you see the presidential debates in 2020? Have you watched a minute of cable news? Surely you’ve noticed all the exclamation points and ALL CAPS POSTS on Facebook.
The truth is, if you want to be heard, you must go the opposite way.
In episode 35 of The Follow-Up Question, renowned voice coach and author, Denise Woods, offered up a far more powerful and effective way to put your voice into the world.
“It’s not just the volume. It’s the intensity and the intention,” Denise said. “That doesn’t have to be the loudest voice in the room. ... You must be intentional with everything you do.
“With intention, your voice can be laser-sharp and can cut through the volume and can cut through the noise. Intention cuts through the noise.”
Denise and I spoke about the power that exists in the silence before you speak.
She literally teaches others how to discover their true voice, and so it might sound counter-intuitive for her to advocate so much for silence. However, it is in the silence where our thoughts become mature.
One of my favorite quotes ever is by neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, author, and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space,” Frankl said. “In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
My friend, in that space exists your ability to find the intention behind your words. As your ideas grow and mature there, then you can best articulate them rather than simply rely on the volume of your voice to rise above the ever-increasing din of voices out there.
Remain in that space more often.
